Louisville Bride

FAL-WIN 2018

Louisville Bride magazine is Louisville, Kentucky's premier bridal publication, featuring photos of wedding gowns and listings for Louisville reception halls, caterers, wedding planners, photographers, and other wedding service providers.

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F a l l / W i n t e r B R I D E 2 0 1 8 1 7 Which vendors should I tip and how much? My rule of thumb for tipping is that you are expected to tip anyone who is working your wedding but who does not own the business they are working for. e idea behind this is that the total amount that you are paying for that service does not go directly to that person and therefore a tip is appreciated. For example, if your photographer is John Doe of John Doe Photography, then you wouldn't be expected to tip them, but if your DJ is Billy Bob of John Doe Entertainment, then a tip would be expected. It is always expected for you to tip catering staff (including bartenders and kitchen staff ), drivers of any transportation (assuming they don't own the transportation company), hair/makeup stylists (once again assuming they don't own the company they work for). Please keep in mind that you can always tip a vendor if you feel like they have gone above and beyond or if you are looking for a way to show them you appreciate them. Tips should always be in the form of cash, not check. If it's in a check they have to claim it as income and it is taxed. Here is a breakdown by vendor: Catering: 15-20 percent of the bill, given in cash to the catering manager to divide among the staff. Or $20-$50 per server, bartender and kitchen staff. Wedding Planner/Coordinator: is is not expected, but if you think they have gone above and beyond, $100- $200 would be a nice gesture. Photographers/Videographer: is would not be expected, especially if they own their own company. If they don't own the company or if there is a second shooter, $50-$100 per person is thoughtful. Officiant: If the officiant is not charging for their service, $100 is appropriate. If they are a part of a church, making a $100 donation to the church is thoughtful. Florist/Cake: A tip is not expected. Band/DJ: Typically $25-$50 per person or 15 percent divided amongst the members. Transportation: 15 percent if gratuity is not included in your contract. Hair/Makeup: 15-20 percent, just like you would at your local salon. If you are ever unhappy with a service, then do not tip them! I know that tipping is expected in the service industry, but it shouldn't be. It should be the reflection of someone's efforts, and if you think they did a bad job then don't tip them and make sure to tell them or their manager so that they are aware of you being unhappy. Tipping at the end of the night is the best way to make sure you are giving appropriately. You can give a lump sum to your wedding coordinator and they can divide it as they see appropriate if you don't want to have to worry about it on the night of. 10-year marriage advice I recently celebrated my 10-year wedding anniversary and people have been asking me what my secrets are for a happy and healthy marriage. As with all marriages, my husband and I have certainly seen our ups and downs. I had heard about the stress that children can put on a marriage, but I truly think it will break an unstable relationship. It is great to say, 'Make time for yourself ' and 'Put your spouse first.' When you are in the thick of it with small children, there are many days you can't figure out how to shower, let alone care for your spouse's needs. e key is to first know/understand your own feelings and motivation and then communicate it kindly to your partner. Easier said than done! For example, I can see myself getting annoyed or impatient with my husband if we haven't spent much quality time together recently. When I notice that feeling, I check in with myself about it. Is it that we haven't had time together? Is there something bothering me at work? Did he do something specifically that triggered me or offended me? If it is about our lack of connection lately, I find an appropriate time to give my husband a heads-up. "Hey, I realized it's been awhile since we got to hang out. I miss you. Can we set up a date soon?" If he did something specifically that triggered or offended me, I come to him and say, "Hey, when you ______, I felt really hurt. Here is how I would have liked to see it go." Men especially need examples of how they can change or improve, but it has to be done in a kind and vulnerable way, not in an accusing way — otherwise you'll trigger their defensiveness (I'm admittedly not the best at this). en the next key is VALIDATE, VALIDATE, VALIDATE! Often our partner doesn't want us to fix their problems as much as they just want to feel like someone else gets it and doesn't think they are crazy for feeling that way. If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to often put your feelings aside and validate your partner's feelings first; then after they feel heard you can voice your side/feelings.

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