Louisville Bride

FAL-WIN 2016

Louisville Bride magazine is Louisville, Kentucky's premier bridal publication, featuring photos of wedding gowns and listings for Louisville reception halls, caterers, wedding planners, photographers, and other wedding service providers.

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1 0 F a l l | W i n t e r B R I D E WARRIOR WISDOM DEAR MAGGIE, I've run into several friends/ acquaintances who ask, "Can I come to your wedding?" or say, "I hope I get an invite!" While I'm happy that they are excited for my fancé and me, these happen to be people that I may not be very close with or don't see very often. Though I hadn't ruled out inviting them, I'm just not sure how to respond. (The people who ask this also all have not planned a wedding and likely don't understand how much pressure that may put on someone.) What's the best way to respond to questions like this? Yours truly, Awkward Asking DEAR AWKWARD ASKING, It is quite rude for people to ask if they are invited to the wedding, though you are completely right that they most likely don't understand what they are asking. A great go-to answer is, "I would love for you to be there, but we are keeping it small." I think acknowledging that that person is someone you enjoy being around is ultimately what he or she needs and lets him or her down easy. You can also say, "Our venue has a size limit." Or, "We are on a tight budget and saving for a house, car, trip, etc." Or cheekily blame your signifcant other's large family! Whatever is the most truthful. I truly believe that if you wouldn't invite someone to dinner and pay for it on a random day of the week, then you should think twice inviting them to one of the most momentous days of your life. Maggie Heely is the owner and lead coordinator of Weekend Wedding Warrior, a wedding-day coordination company in Louisville, Lexington and Nashville. She is also a licensed marriage/family therapist in Kentucky and a graduate of Northwestern University's Family Institute. DEAR MAGGIE, My fancé and I have decided not to register for gifts. Like so many modern couples, we are saving to travel and buy a house and we already have so many of the things that go on a traditional registry. What's an appropriate thing to say to people who ask where we are registered or look to our website for registry information? What's the best way to tell them that you don't want a silver platter or dining room set? Sincerely, No Platter Please DEAR NO PLATTER PLEASE, It is more and more common for couples to live together prior to the wedding and therefore not be in need of many of the traditional home items that are on wedding registries. There are many great websites like HoneyFund.com that help couples get what they truly want and need. However, the rules of registries are still the same no matter what kind of registry it is: Never put the registry information on the wedding invitation or in the wedding invitation packet. Registry information should be spread by word of mouth, and often websites are a great way to do that. MyWedding.com, TheKnot.com, and WeddingWire.com all have great website- making tools. If someone asks you directly, that means that they truly want to get you something that you'll want and need and, therefore, be honest with them. Let them know where you are registered and how they can fnd your website. They'll be glad to get you something you'll use. Warning, though: You will get a silver platter or something of the like from a non-internet- savvy relative. I have to say, you may not love it now, but in a few years you'll use and appreciate it! I received a silver platter from a friend's mother for our wedding eight years ago and I wondered what I would ever do with it. Now it's on display in my dining room…because I'm old and I have a dining room now! DEAR MAGGIE, My fancé and I want to elope, but friends and family have been giving us a hard time because they want to be involved in the wedding. What are good ways to elope and still include our close friends/family? Sincerely, Secret Wedding DEAR SECRET WEDDING, If you and your fancé have talked about it thoroughly and have decided that having a traditional wedding celebration is not the best use of your time and money, then I think eloping is a great option. Most couples who elope but still want to include their family have a reception or dinner after they return from their elopement. One bride I know is having a "pop-up" reception, where she is planning to text her guests the day before so that there is less pressure for them to come. This is a tad extreme, but defnitely speaks to wanting to keep the "wedding" as low-key and stress-less as possible. Another idea is to elope and then have a nice dinner for your close family and friends. Keep it small and simple, without the cake cutting and other traditions. Just whatever you do or wherever you go, make sure to hire a professional photographer for your marriage ceremony. You'll cherish those pictures forever and you can send out a fun "We Eloped" picture card to friends and family after you return. DEAR MAGGIE, The majority of my guests are from out of town and traveling for our wedding. I am the bride and my mother thinks we should be inviting all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner. However, my future mother-in-law has a modest budget and only wants to invite the wedding party and immediate family to the rehearsal dinner. I'm fne with not having everyone at the dinner, but my mom thinks it's really rude! Sincerely, Rehearsal Dinner Debate

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