Louisville Bride

FAL-WIN 2015

Louisville Bride magazine is Louisville, Kentucky's premier bridal publication, featuring photos of wedding gowns and listings for Louisville reception halls, caterers, wedding planners, photographers, and other wedding service providers.

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1 4 Fa l l | Wi n t e r B R I D E 2 0 1 5 Warior Wisdom Maggie Heely Dear Maggie, I just got engaged to a wonder- ful man. This will be my second wedding, but this is the frst wedding for my fancé. I know etiquette says that you should really only have one wedding, but I'm wondering if the rules change when it is my fancé's frst wedding. Honestly, I would be happy with a small destina- tion wedding, but he has a lot of friends and family locally and would really like a big celebra- tion. Yours truly, I Do Take Two Dear I Do Take Two, You can certainly have a second wedding and I would not want to deny your fancé from having his frst! Your marriage should be celebrated. There are just a few things that are considered gauche if you are having a sec- ond wedding. First, expect to be completely fnancially respon- sible for this wedding. The frst wedding is traditionally on your parents, but the second one is on you! Second, try to reduce the members of your wedding party. Being a member of any wedding party can be a lot of respon- sibility, and asking friends to be a member of your wedding party a second time might be too much. One honor attendant each would be perfect. Third, wedding showers shouldn't be expected the second time around. Follow these simple guidelines and you are sure to have the wedding your fancé wants without ofending anyone. Dear Maggie, I'm having a very small wedding. Only our immediate families are invited — that sort of small. A few months later, we plan to have a reception where our friends and extended families will be invited. A friend suggested that I should start a wedding registry in case people want to give us gifts. What's the etiquette regarding wedding gifts when so few people are attending the actual wedding? I don't want to look presumptu- ous here! Sincerely, Small and Thoughtful Dear Small and Thoughtful, It is nice of you to be aware of not wanting to be presumptu- ous. I think it is perfectly OK for you to have a wedding-gift reg- istry even though the majority of guests will only be invited to the reception. Ultimately, gifts are given as tokens of love for the couple, and regardless of which part of the wedding the guests are invited to, they are invited and many will want to get you a gift. Registries are a great way to help guide guests who may not know what you'd like or need. The only catch is that the gift registry information should never be on any of the invita- tions! That is a big faux pas and quite presumptuous! Registry information is supposed to be passed by word of mouth, but more modern couples typically include that information on their wedding website. Dear Maggie, I am Jewish and my fancé is not. I want to celebrate my Jewish traditions but still honor his family and their Christian beliefs. Have you seen wedding ceremonies with more than one denomination? Sincerely, Keeping the Faiths Dear Keeping the Faiths, It's more common than you may think to have an interfaith marriage and wedding. Recently, I coordinated a wedding where the bride was Jewish and the groom was Christian. They performed all of the traditional Jewish wedding ceremonies like signing the ketubah and getting married under a ch- uppah. However, the groom's minister uncle ofciated the ceremony alongside the rabbi. It was a meaningful culmination of the bride's and the groom's backgrounds. Maybe my favorite part of the evening was when the groom's parents were lifted in chairs during the horah, a traditional Jewish dance. They had a blast! Dear Maggie, What's the etiquette regarding sending paper invitations but asking guests to RSVP online or via email? We are planning on having 350-400 guests. That's a whole lot of postage, but we don't want to be tacky. Sincerely, Online RSVP Dear Online RSVP, If you're planning to mail paper invitations, etiquette calls for in- cluding an RSVP card, complete with postage, along with the in- vitation. I hate to say it, but you really aren't going to save that much money on postage by hav- ing guests RSVP online. Stamps are 49 cents, so if you're inviting 350 people, that's $171.50 to include stamped RSVP cards with your invitations. Unfortu- nately, for a wedding with 350- 400 guests, that's a drop in the bucket. Another option if you're having a casual wedding is to send most invitations online and have guests RSVP that way too. Just make sure to mail invites to any older guests who may not be tech savvy. Heely is the owner and lead coordinator of Weekend Wedding Warrior, LLC, a wedding- day coordination company in Louisville and Lexington and Nashville, Tennessee. She is also a licensed marriage family therapist in the state of Kentucky and a graduate of Northwestern University's Family Institute.

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